I think I’ve been poisoned!

14 December 2007 in 9-5, food, restaurant reviews, the everyday
Tags: day off, food poisoning, Macy's, Walnut Room

Almost everything about today’s day off was perfect: extra sleep, good company, time spent downtown seeing the decorations and doing some shopping. We had lunch at Macy’s Walnut Room, which is all bedecked in Martha Stewart splendor, and only waited five minutes to be seated.

Then things changed.

In a large room filled with empty tables, some right by the windows and offering views of the city, we got seated at a tiny end table against a column. I couldn’t even cross my legs underneath because there wasn’t enough room. My chair wouldn’t scoot in because of large obstructions, so traffic behind me continually rubbed against my back.

I ordered a fruit salad plate, described as chicken salad atop a bed of French fried potato shoelaces, with a trio of breads, peaches, grapes and berries. It sounded delicious.

When it arrived, the peaches were canned; the strawberries were gaunt, tiny things; and the grapes were even smaller. The chicken salad was fine, and the trio of breads? three slices of banana nut–tasty, but identical.

I ate it all, even the fruity cream cheese that was included. But by the time we’d finished eating, I wanted to leave, having been bumped into and made generally uncomfortable for too long.  We told ourselves the room was just as we’d remembered, and that was why we came. The helpful waiter still got a nice tip, and we went on our way: shopping, walking, bus-riding and train-taking it back home.

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Then. Tonight, around 11 PM, my stomach started cramping. I am really sick, and I never get this kind of really sick. I’ve been violently ill for almost two hours now, and any remains of the afternoon lunch are gone. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t get my stomach to calm down. In fact, blogging seems to be the best way to distract myself from another bout with the purging.

All I can think is that I was food poisoned. It makes sense: between sickly fruits, fluffy cream cheese and the house chicken salad, I chose a medley of easily spoiled items. Oh, to go back in time!

And the worst part? I can’t call in sick tomorrow because of how fishy it would look. I took today off, and I’m not working this weekend. Who would believe food poisoning that conveniently provides a four-day weekend for the injured party?